Abecedarian: South Valley Dream Home

Apparently, this wind is trying to get rid of me. Blowing leaves and hair, kicking up trash

Before I can get out the damn door and make it over chickens, dogs, and weeds to the

Clothesline and gather the jeans, yanking clothespins and grinding the sand in my teeth. It’s

Dusty. Wind chimes and cherry blossoms slice through the sand. They decided to bloom

Early this year. I thought about the wind and the birds as a frustrated knot welled in my skull.

Freedom. They have it. Me? I’m stuck here for now. Ever since I tied the knot and the

Grumpy landlord took a chance on us several months ago. We were in love.

He told me he quit the gambling and the rest that came with it. I believed him. That was before.

I found the pills under the pillow, and the woman’s calls ignored. There were lots. It was

Just the best timing. Don’t you think? Not long after we moved, he was back at it. Her name was

Kassy and she was a redhead with freckles, no common sense, and no daddy for her

Little one. But he loved her because she’s easy on him. No grief about the gambling, unlike

Me. I understand I’m a hard woman to love. But there’s no sense in keeping me around.

Not unless I needed him — which I did right now. Damn him. I returned to the kitchen. I

Opened a bottle of beer after I threw the heap of denim into a basket and drank. I breathed.

People would say things if I left so soon. Everyone was happy when I found this man. A

Quail trotted out in the yard. I can’t waste my youth like this. I need a plan. Until I can leave, I’ll

Run the house like everything’s alright. I’ll be the perfect woman sitting pretty and comfy in her

South Valley dream home. Escaping will be easy. I’ll store some boxes. I handle the money

To deposit for all our bills while he works. I will take that money instead and

Use it as a down payment. He’ll never find me. I’ll move out when he’s gone. I’ll be smart and

Very cautious. In a couple of weeks, I will have enough. I’ll skim off the top of the bills,

Waiting to gather enough cash to be alright when I leave. Until then I will wait around in my

Xeriscaped front yard, with all the problems. I grabbed another beer, looked into the

Yard and said to myself, I will never think to turn a boy into a man ever again. There was

Zero chance I’d let myself be had ever again. The cherry blossom tree shivered by my bravery.