I was an ugly duckling. I was awkward and unattractive as a child and adolescent. It got better by my teenage years. I’m in my early thirties now and I am at my most beautiful. People tell me that I wasn’t ugly at all back then, but yearbook photos would disagree.

Since I was an ugly child I had plenty of time to develop other abilities that continue to serve me now. Being ugly is humbling and I will not take the way I look now for granted. That’s not to say I don’t get just a little pleasure from turning the heads of guys who wouldn’t ever consider me back in high school.

Everyone has problems. I do agree that beautiful people have access to privileges that ugly people don’t. But beautiful people with personalities and interests outside what is expected of them have problems with gatekeepers too.

For instance, I grew up playing video games. By the time I reached college I wanted to make friends and meet people with similar interests. I tried joining a group of gamers on campus. My interest and skill set was there, but because of my attractiveness nobody took me seriously. My beauty made people underestimate me and they were dismissive of my genuine interest in video games, anime,cosplay, and sci-fi fantasy novels.

I learned that I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. And I learned how to filter out negative people. I’m a closet nerd these days, mostly in what’s now considered retro gaming. I can do it all and still look amazing doing it.